Childfree in TV
Is being childfree celebrated on television shows?
I found a few shows where characters talk about being childfree.
During Season Three of This is Us, in Episode 16 titled, Don’t Take My Sunshine Away and Episode 18, titled HER, the character Zoe (Beth’s cousin and Kevin’s love interest at this time) says she doesn’t want kids. When Kevin and Zoe go to couples therapy because of Kevin’s excessive drinking, he mentions he wants to eventually have kids. Following the session, Zoe tells him she doesn’t want to have kids because she likes her life the way it is. The freedom to travel, not basing her life on soccer practice and homework, to have sex on the counter and not having a kid walk in and being scarred for life. Side bar: Almost every parent I know has a “kid caught us” traumatic story. During the course of the conversation, Kevin says he thought he’d eventually want kids because “it just seems like something people do”. What would happen if people really gave thought to what having kids really meant as Zoe has versus, it seems like something people do as the default. She tells Kevin that if he is on board with not having kids, she’s willing to stick with him through rehab and all the ups and downs their relationship brings. He has to make a choice; he chooses her and agrees they won’t have kids. But was he being honest with himself? When they are tasked with watching Beth and Randall’s daughters, Kevin says how good Zoe is with them and because of that she would be a great mother. Side Bar: How many times have you heard that? Just because you smile at a kid, or help them put on their shoes or hold your niece, someone will enviably say, “I don’t know why you don’t want kids, you’re so good with them.” I’m also good at making sandwiches, yet no one is encouraging me to work at Subway. Kevin tries to convince her by saying sometimes people think they know what they want and then things change. I guess the same can be said for people who think they want kids. He continues with explaining how both of them would be great at parenting. He derives all of this from watching a couple of kids for a few hours. She responds with you think I’m going to change but I’m not. Yay Zoe!! They decide to go their separate ways. This is one of the few times I’ve heard a tv character stand firm in their choice not to have children.
On the most recent season of Blackish, Season 6, Episode 13, titled “Kid Free Crisis”, The Johnsons go on a family vacation to Mexico with 4 of their 5 children. They try to dine at a nice restaurant at the resort and one kid wants buttered noodles, another yells at the pianist to play Post Malone. Dre and Rainbow decide this vacation is for them and they are tired of catering to the needs of their children. They declare Junior, their oldest kid is “the parent now”. While celebrating “abandoning their children”, Dre and Rainbow meet a couple who don’t have children. And just like most parents, they can’t have a conversation without bringing up their kids, and suddenly the childfree couple announces they have an early morning of surfing and can’t stay. Basically, not everyone wants to hear about your kids; especially when they just met you. The younger Johnson kids get sick and Junior is forced to take care of them, thus ruining his vacation. How is any of this fair to Junior, he didn’t make the choice to have kids. Dre proposes he and Rainbow go to Paris the next weekend and she reminds him they don’t have that kind of life. You know because they have FIVE kids! Rainbow says going away without their kids is selfish, Dre disagrees. She says he doesn’t understand because he’s not a working mother. Insert eye roll here. So let me get this straight, it’s selfish to go on vacation without your kids but it’s ok to bring them and not spend time with them. Oh, they decide they can go to Paris but they have to bring the kids. More eye rolling. You know if you didn't have kids in the first place you could vacation like you don’t have kids all the time!
A couple of childfree moments from throwback TV shows:
In the Netflix series House of Cards, Claire doesn’t want children and is portrayed as an evil figure. When asked if she regrets not having children by a reporter, she responds with “do you regret having them?” Well played Claire!
On Sex and the City, in an episode titled, A Woman’s Right to Shoes, Stanley and Carrie go to a baby shower of a mutual friend and are told to leave their shoes at the door. When they go to leave, Carrie’s Manolo Blanik’s are gone. The host is not concerned about the missing shoes saying “I’m sure they’ll turn up”. When discussing it with the girls, Miranda suggests she gets reimbursed for the shoes but Carrie feels bad asking her friend to pay her for them. Samantha has the best line when she says “if you gave a party and told her to leave her baby out in the hall and her baby was missing at the end of the night, there’d be payback.” While they are talking, there’s a kid running around the fancy restaurant. Side Bar: I wonder if when you have kids and you suddenly lose all sense of social decency. Charlotte, of course, thinks all kids are beautiful and even though Miranda has a kid she says she wouldn’t bring him to that restaurant, because she doesn’t like kids except her own. When the shoes don’t turn up after a few days, Carrie’s friend finally offers to pay for them but then shames her for spending $485 for shoes saying, we shouldn’t have to pay for your extravagant lifestyle. Carrie responds with it wasn’t her choice to take her shoes off. Her friend continues with things like she’s become more responsible since she’s had kids. Like it’s irresponsible to buy shoes instead of having children. Side Bar: I know a lot of irresponsible parents. While talking with Charlotte, Carrie recalls she’s spent $2300 celebrating her friend’s choices. Engagement, weddings, baby showers… Charlotte says if Carrie gets married or has a child her friend would spend the same on her, but what if Carrie doesn’t. Carrie decides she’s getting married to herself and lets her friend know she’s registered at Manolo Blanik. When her friend goes to purchase the shoes from the registry, the sales associate says “Watch your children, we don’t want them touching the shoes”
Can you think of any other tv or film characters that are happily childfree. I’m sure there are more than the examples than the ones I’ve given. Tell me about it on Facebook, Instagram or in the comments section below.