What is a Family?
I was told by a member of the Mommy Mafia (check out episode 2, if you don’t know who they are) that I couldn’t use the term family because my husband and I don’t have children. Needless to say, I had some choice words for her and still use the term family. But was she right? Of course not! I looked up family on the Merriam Webster website and there are eight definitions, I will highlight a couple of them:
The first definition is usually the commonly used one.
The basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children. Also, any various social unit differing from but regarded as equivalent to the traditional family. The site references single parent family as a social unit differing from but regarded as equivalent to the traditional family. I will add child free family because I regard it as equivalent to the “traditional family”.
A group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head. You and your roommate, even you and your pet(s). Your pet at times could be “the head” in this scenario.
A group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation. We, my friends, the DINKs and SINKs of the world are a family.
A unit of a crime syndicate (such as the Mafia) operating within a geographical area. The Mommy Mafia is a family as well. Their crime, having children and losing themselves the process.
And while we’re on the subject of family, let’s talk godparents. Just because you don’t have kids, especially if you’re single, people assume you want to be their kid’s godparent. They ask you, you don’t want to hurt their feelings so you say yes. You dress up, go to the service, smile and take pictures. Sometimes I think it’s the parents way to look down on your pitiful childfree life, so you know, you don’t feel left out. Here’s the deal, and I’m speaking for myself, I am a terrible godparent! I will be late to the service, stumble through the pledge/oath thingy, because basically, I’m counting down until I can have cake. When I tell parents that I’m a no good at this godparent thing, they respond with no, don’t say that, you’ll be great. When I prove to them that I’m really terrible, they are shocked. I don’t remember birthdays or Christmas. I’m not available for school milestones, I’ll even screw up on how old the kid is…she’s like 7 right, no, she’s 12… but that’s me. Maya Angelou said when people show you who they are believe them. Believe me, I’m the worst. I know there are some DINKs and SINKs that make great godparents and would be happy to fulfill this role, I’m not one of them. Now you can’t say you don’t know, now everyone knows.
Back to the definition of family - why is family always defined with children? We should move away from asking if a place is family friendly to asking if it’s kid friendly. That’s a better question. Amusement parks are family friendly venues meaning I can go there with my husband or you can go with your friends or parents can go with their kids and everyone would have a blast. Restaurants with crayons, high chairs and a kid’s menu are kid friendly, so you’re not likely to see me in one of those establishments.
You want to know who defines what a family is? You do! Family is what you make it and don’t let anyone tell you different.
What are your thoughts on the definition of a “traditional family”? Are you a great godparent? Tell me on Facebook and Instagram.