My thoughts on Mother’s Day and the Declining Birth Rate

Sunday is Mother’s Day here in the US.  As I’ve gotten older and more settled in my childfree life, it’s become more annoying.  To those of you who love this holiday, this is not a hit at you - keep loving it and doing all you can to make it fabulous.  

For me, it’s getting increasing irksome.  Jockeying for position at Target trying to get the “right card” for all the moms and mom figures in my life.  Do I really need to give my mother a mug that says she’s the greatest or a t-shirt that identifies her as a mom of all trades? 

Mother’s Day was started in 1907 by Anne Jervis who wanted to honor her mother who had recently died.  Now it’s a $25 billion commercial holiday with the average spent per person being around $200. Most is spent on flowers, $5 billion on jewelry, $843 million on cards…. Now I can’t figure out why all the Hallmarks around here have closed.  

Apparently, Ms. Jervis regretting starting the holiday because it turned into the spectacle we see today.  She faced arrest for public disturbance going after florists aggressive marketing.  I wonder how she would take on 800 Flowers or Telaflora.  She also went after Elenor Roosevelt for promoting the holiday to raise funds for charity.  “To have Mother’s Day the burdensome, wasteful, expensive gift day that Christmas and other special days have become, is not our pleasure.  If the American people are not willing to protect Mother’s Day from the hordes of money schemers that would overwhelm it with their schemes, then we shall cease having a Mother’s Day — and we know how”, she said in 1920, according to Nat Geo. She fought so hard against the commercialism of Mother’s Day that she died penniless at age 84 in a sanitarium.  I wonder if her children visited her…. 

What’s it like for me on Mother’s Day?  It’s an opportunity to watch the Mommy Mafia gloat about their children and gifts, trying to outdo each other.  Then there are the side glances and comments about “you too can have this life”.  No thanks!  On the second Sunday in May, I’m more satisfied with my childfree life and wouldn’t give it up for some flowers, handmade macaroni cards or something with a plug, like a Dyson vacuum or new washing machine.

For us DINKs and SINKs who have chosen a childfree lifestyle, it’s filled with a month of emails from every company on the planet cheering on moms.  Some companies have decided to give customers an opt out option.  Shout out to those companies for recognizing not everyone wants to be bombarded with Mother’s Day sentiments.  

If Mother’s Day is a joyous occasion for you, take a moment before you spread that joy to think about those for whom Mother’s Day is not so happy.  There are those whose mothers have passed away, those who want to be mothers and are unable and those who don’t have a great relationship with their mom.  Despite what the cards at the drugstore say, not all moms are the greatest.

Lastly, if you have to be forced to celebrate your mom on Mother’s Day, in similar fashion as Valentines Day forces you to celebrate your significant other, maybe you should reevaluate your relationship with your mom.  

The birth rate is declining! 

It’s been recently reported the US birth rate is the lowest it’s been since 1979.  In 2020, the rate fell 4% to 3.6 million babies. That’s still a lot of babies.   It’s not just in the US and you can’t blame it all on the pandemic.

In Italy, the birth rate has dropped 22% in December following nine months of lockdowns and they are predicting another lower year across Europe.  In Germany and France they are delaying motherhood while in Italy they have forgone having children all together.  Britain has recorded a decline in baby carriage imports and baby formula makers are seeing declines in sales - a metric is a metric I guess.  

Many more women are choosing not to become mothers, that’s my choice and that may be your choice and I’m here to cheer you on!  My goal is to normalize DINK and SINK life because we are not societal rebels, we’re extraordinary people living our lives the way we want.  

Maybe if the birth rate keeps declining, we’ll start seeing less mother day posts and emails.  It’s not likely but I can dream.  

To all the aunts, godmothers and mom figures who embrace those titles, I hope you get a really nice $200 gift!  For everyone else,  Happy Second Sunday in May! 

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