Disputing the 25 Stupidest Reasons to Have Kids
moms.com has an article about the 25 honest reasons women have kids. These are some of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. So I’ve decided to give you my take on the self righteous, selfish and silly reasons they list in this article. If this is what they are selling to women who are on the fence about having kids, I have a bridge I want to sell you too. I apologize in advance for some of the laughing/snorting/spitting that may occur as I go through these.
Ok here we go:
25 - To have someone care for us when we’re older - You all know I’ve said this before but there is no guarantee your kids will take care of you when you’re older. You can visit almost any nursing home or long term care facility and find plenty of people with children who never visit.
24 - To carry the family name - this one is interesting. What if you only have girls? What if your daughters decide to take their husband’s last name if they get married or decide not to have children. What if your son decides to take his wife’s name - you know that’s an option, right? Where does that leave the “family name”. I am the last in my family with my maiden last name (my legal name is hyphenated), and I’m totally fine with it ending with me….there are plenty of people in the world with my maiden last name and if one of them does something that is great, I’ll just say that’s my cousin.
23 - Because they are cute - Just what the world needs more of cute people. No mention of raising good people, who will do good in the world. Looks are so superficial, and what if your kid is not cute, genes aren’t always kind, and we’ve all seen a not so cute baby.
22 - To stay young ourselves - I wasn’t sure what the author meant by this but there are a lot of parents out there who look aged after having kids. With regards to older parents, I’ve never seen a 55 year old dad running after a toddler and liking it.
21 - To be bumped up from the kids table - if you’re still sitting at the kids table, you need to trade in your family. There aren’t many kids in my family on both sides so all of us sit at the same table. But I guess in families with a lot of kids there’s a kids table and if your regulated to eat there, maybe your family doesn’t like you…
20 - to learn about accountability - isn’t there a class I can take on accountability, a YouTube channel, a book I can read. Birth and raising a child has too much of a cost for me to learn accountability.
19 - because you can, not everyone can - this is the most hurtful reasons on this list. Basically you’re shaming women with infertility issues to prompt yourself up. This is not only disappointing, it’s truly disgusting.
18 - to live through your child - I think this is one of the reasons we have an everyone gets a trophy lifestyle. You’re mad because you didn’t get a trophy when you were a kid and you don’t want your kid to feel the disappointment of not winning. Or on the other side of this, you got all the trophies when you were a kid and now you want your kid to get all the trophies too. Don’t you think you should let your kid live their own life? How many more kids are trying to be someone they don’t want to be because their parents are living through them? Not just in sports but in careers, marriages and parenthood.
17 - to feel fulfilled at a job well done - what if your kid is a screw up? The most notorious killers on the planet have parents. That asshole at work whom no one likes, they’ve got a momma and daddy too. Maybe you should find fulfillment in what makes you happy. If that’s kid, good for you, if that’s sitting on the couch binging Netflix and you finished the lasted craze taking over the nation, yay, job well done!
16 - trying to fix a broken marriage - this is by far the worst reason on this list. There is no evidence in recorded history that says this is a good reason to have a baby. In fact there are many people who found out the hard way, this was the worse decision they made. If there are fractures in your relationship, a baby will only widen them and one or both of the parents will resent the kid, who didn’t ask to come here. And the kid is left to pick up the pieces.
15 - creating your own squad has never been cuter - You like dressing up… so you should have a kids so you can be matchies! This is not my thing, randomly my husband and I dress similarly and one of us has to change before we go out. There aren’t any matching family outfits that I see where I’m like let’s have a baby so we can dress alike. I exclude holiday pics, matching pjs in this case are fun.
14 - reason to avoid work parties (again) - I guess being honest doesn’t work here so you have a kid so people have pity on you and not ask why you’re not at the holiday party. For me, I hate work social, I don’t want to go to the holiday party, after work drinks or be friends with my coworkers on Facebook. I make it clear I don’t like these types of interactions mainly because people start to think you’re their friends and not work colleagues and try to bring that back to the office. Have I wanted to say, sorry I can’t go to farewell drinks for Sally because I have to fed my kid, of course. But actually having a kid is not worth that excuse. Now I’m just honest and say I can’t make it, no additional explanation needed.
13 - have a second chance to do it right - wait what? I don’t even understand this reason, you’re having kids as test dummies until you “get it right”…. You need a hobby.
12 - for all the laughter and joy in the world - is there a comedy special I can watch, instagram feed, Tik Tok video - right now I love that dog with all the outfits it couldn’t wear! My husband is pretty funny, and for those with pets I’m sure they are a barrel of laughs. Kids are funny too but they can also be rude, obnoxious, dirty and smelly (by the way none of these reasons made this list…)
11- to be in control of someone other than yourself - power trip much? Anyone who has seen a distressed parent at Target knows who’s in control and it’s usually not the adult.
10 - because we think we have to - who is we? I don’t think I have to have children, just because “society” says I should. And if you’re living your life based on what other people think, maybe it’s your parent trying to live through you.
9 - to diminish boredom - one thing I know about DINKs and SINKs, we are never bored!!
8 - join a new social scene - have you been to a mommy get together… yeah, not the social scene I’m interested in joining.
7 - to experience the joys of pregnancy - There’s no guarantee, there will be joy in your pregnancy. What if you have a difficult pregnancy, with preclampsia, gestational diabetes, bed rest, excessive weight gain, morning sickness throughout, random people rubbing your belly….none of this sounds joyous.
6 - continue the family business - and if your kid decides to live their own life and do their own thing… I guess you’re screwed on this one.
5 - bond with your mother - not everyone has a great relationship with their mother. Some have lost their mothers before they have children. Some that I know go to their mothers after they’ve had children and ask why didn’t you tell me it was going to be like this.
4 - creating memories that will last forever - I have lots of memories that will last forever and some pictures to prove them and the majority of them don’t include children.
3 - kids make a house a home - My husband and I own a house and it is our home. We’ve made it our home, we do things we find interesting here, we can watch a movie without interruption. Kids just make a mess.
2 - To prevent certain illnesses - I know people with lung cancer who never smoked a cigarette. This authors argument is not ovulating for 9 months can prevent certain cancers… so can certain birth control medications. Once again, this is no guarantee.
1 - To leave a legacy behind - you do not need children to leave a legacy. Remember those notorious killers with parents…. That’s a legacy too. Additionally, plenty of people without children have legacies. Betty White, Dolly Parton, Helen Mirren, Condelezza Rice, Oprah Winfrey, Jay Leno, Lily Tomlin, Katherine Hepburn, Diane Sawyer, Patrick Swayze, Prince, Liza Minelli, Kathy Bates, Pam Grier…. The list goes on and on and on. You create your legacy, as long as your name is spoken in rooms, your legacy lives on.
Here’s my question, if someone has a baby for one of these insane reasons and the desired result doesn’t happen, is there a return policy?
I thought of writing a list of 25 reasons you shouldn’t have children and thought there’s really only one:
Because you don’t want to.