Why is Mom of None Controversial and Negative?
That’s the phrase I get all the time when I tell people about the podcast - wow, that’s controversial!
Is it though? Why is my choice not to have children the same as putting salt or sugar in your grits. Now that’s controversial - I’m team salt by the way.
They say, we’ll you’re going against societal norms. I don’t think so, not having children is a societal norm. Side note, who determines these norms? We are a part of a large (and getting bigger by the day) percentage of people, who have chosen not to have children. That’s different than men and women who are childless. Those people are superheroes, having to deal with the Mommy Mafia asking when they’re going to have children. Being looked at with pity and judgement, when those people don’t know what they are going through. Just so you’re aware, you are not required to explain to anyone why you don’t have children.
Recently, Peloton announced a Prenatal program for the “strongest creatures on the planet”. Well that’s an opinion. Of course not speaking from experience, I do believe it’s a feat to have a baby, from conception to birth and after the kid gets here but strongest creatures on the planet is a stretch for me. Side note: Giraffes are pregnant for 15 months and stand most of the time. Remember when April the Giraffe was pregnant, for some strange reason, I watched that birthing video and I’m scarred for life! There are lots of strong people on the planet and this is not a contest. Therein lies the problem, terms like this cause a rift between parents and non parents. It’s because we pump women up with terms like this, many think they have to have children and there are some, the mommy mafia, who think they get a pass to be a terrible human to those without children.
I’m the strongest creature on the planet, you need to tell me why you don’t have kids?
I’m the strongest creature on the planet, I must play my tiny violin when my kid vomits on the couch.
I’m the strongest creature on the planet, I need to skip the line at Disney to get my kid a mickey mouse shaped pretzel, do you remember that story? I’ll link it in the show notes.
Women have babies every day, whether it’s an easy pregnancy and delivery or a difficult one, it continues to happen every single day. In fancy suites at fancy hospitals and in third world countries where medical care can be limited. Are those women in poorer countries stronger than the women in birthing suites with a meditative music and epidurals? I don’t know? Why? Because you can’t weigh strong. It seems moms need a constant cheering section to tell them they’re doing a great job. To paraphrase that line from the movie “The Help” You is strong, You is special. You is a mom.
Where’s our cheering section, there are plenty of DINKs and SINKs who have struggles, especially during this pandemic. We deal with them every day and although they may not include children, that doesn’t make us weak. And all of us are STRONG!
Well That’s Negative?
When I told a neighbor, a member of a daddy mafia, I was going to start this podcast he asked if I checked with my nine to five gig because it may bring negative attention to them. He’s a lawyer and said he has a clause in his employment agreement that may lead to termination if he did anything that would cause his firm repetitional harm. Wow, I thought - me, a regular person with a regular life starting a podcast to cheer SINKs and DINKs could bring repetitional damage to the firm I work for and get me fired. Choosing to celebrate not having kids, could get me fired? That may have discouraged me from starting. Can you imagine if I gave him that much power and not started because HE thought it was negative. What if I believed he represented everybody in the world and how they would view the podcast. Thankfully, I didn’t give him that power nor believe his negative views!
How do you change the negative connotation about women who choose not to have children. You don’t get discouraged and keep living your best childfree life. This conversation with my neighbor was pre-COVID-19, a few months into the pandemic, I ran into him and he asked about the podcast. I told him it was going well. He said, wow you really called it on not having kids and went into a story about homeschooling. Maybe he’ll no longer view childfree as negative and correct a friend who looks down on the choice not to have kids.
You want to know how you can help change the mindset of a childfree lifestyle being controversial or negative, share this episode with 2 friends and give it a 5 star review on the podcast player you’re listening on. Post this episode or your favorite episode on social media - be sure to tag me! A fan fav is Episode 2: Dealing with the Mommy Mafia - this is a great episode to share with your mom friends or frenemies who can’t understand why you don’t want to join their “club”.
As 2020 comes to a close. I’m here to cheer for you. That is the goal of this podcast to cheer our choice because it’s not controversial, it’s not negative. It’s a choice that should be celebrated.
I want to thank all of you for listening to the first year of Mom of None, the Not for Parents Podcast, it’s been a challenge but I’m learning and loving it! I look forward to all the great things that will come! I wish you all a happy holiday season, however you choose to celebrate or not! Cheers to 2021!